Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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