i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
