I just saw a hot homeless man
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
