ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Drunk is not a location!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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