Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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