my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
high people should be assigned attendants
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
there is glitter all over my balls
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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