I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
