The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
