they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Im part way to drunk.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
