im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
