I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
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