She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
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Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
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we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize