the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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