You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
