dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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