We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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