well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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