how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
