Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
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Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
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I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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