This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
