So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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