I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
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