Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
