i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
