Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
