Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
