I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You made out with two different species that night
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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