he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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