This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
