I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
