everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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