so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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