He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Randomize
