Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize