wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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