Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You may now shotgun with the bride
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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