she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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