No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
