quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
