did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
