I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
