wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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