there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
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ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
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Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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