haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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