so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
