I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
