Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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