glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
