Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
