Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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