...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
