Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Just high enough for therapy.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
