very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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