Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
