yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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