I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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