Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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